I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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