If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
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