I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
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