it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
