I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Randomize
