Got a toothbrush?
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
honey bunches of taint.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
