I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
