BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
