I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
