Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
