her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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