Are we in a gay sports bar?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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