Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
