We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize