Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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