My room smells like vodka and shame
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
