Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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