Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
