sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
