that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
