bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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