What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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