i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
