I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
