I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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