I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
