I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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