I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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