It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
