So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Randomize
