Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
We were destined to go to rehab together
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
