Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
