this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
