Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
