Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I have post one night stand depression
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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