He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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