if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
