Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
