I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
this is an emotional support booty call
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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