Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
