life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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