I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
