I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
