Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
