Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
