Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Randomize
