i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
