I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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