I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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