But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
false alarm, still single
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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