I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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