everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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