Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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