Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
