You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Randomize