You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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