____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
