You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Randomize
