It's just like the Real World with babies
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
i've created a new STD.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
