didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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