david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
