I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
