Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
