Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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