Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
