Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
This is the high leading the old right now
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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