What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
