Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
