KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
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