It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
