Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
