i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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