Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
