Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
